Public Prescription: Finding a Bedtime Routine

When life gets stressful, I think of this fuzzy guy to calm me down.

August 31, 2011 was a day that changed my life. That was the day I learned that the panic attacks, obsessive thoughts, and constant replaying of social interactions in my head had a name, and that was Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My therapist at the time, Dr. Jeanette Funke, told me that anxiety is a manifestation of our primordial "fight or flight" instincts, and it was that day I chose to fight. I chose to fight to live the most meaningful and happy life I could have, and to this day, I am still fighting and succeeding.

While I am not a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist and am in no way qualified to determine whether you suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, I am certain that you feel stress in your life. There are days when you feel unconfident and like the world is a video game on expert and you're down to your last life. 

I have spent the past 5 years and change figuring out self care techniques that help me manage my stress in a healthy way. Not to say that I never feel stressed ever, or that the world magically becomes a video game on easy where I have unlimited lives. No, what I'm offering are cheat codes that help me beat the hard levels.

I'm going to start with the newest self care routine that I have adopted, and that is around bedtime. Even though I'm 25 and not 2.5 years old, I still need a bedtime routine and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Like many people who suffer from anxiety, I am a very light sleeper, and that's once I get to sleep. On a good night, it can take me 1-2 hours to even fall asleep, and that's not always because I'm panicking or stressing out, it's just that there is a constant flurry of activity in my brain. It's like there's a whole city inside there like New York that never sleeps or shuts down! 

 Scientists usually recommend a full 8 hours of sleep and a good night for me is 6. While I'm not usually a zombie at work, I've noticed that my lack of sleep contributes to my irritability at small incidents that take place during the day, (such as the elevator not coming immediately! The nerve!) A lack of sleep also has the potential to lead to far worse health consequences such as a lack of sleep can potentially lead to heart disease, diabetes, and more!

As a 25-year-old who regularly works out, I do not think about heart problems, but even more immediate and pressing to me was the realization that my lack of sleep also made my anxiety worse! According to the American Association of Depression and Anxiety, (ADAA) insomnia and anxiety create a vicious cycle. While lack of sleep creates anxiety, anxiety also makes it hard to fall asleep. Kind of like cranky, stress-filled chicken and egg debate!

However, this problem is well within my control, so here are four habits I have adopted to give me a good night's sleep:

Bedtime Story

When it came to bed time, I was guilty of a few bad habits. Since college, I made a routine of watching TV right before going to bed because I thought that escaping into a goofy sitcom or in somebody else's drama would help me relax my mind. It turns out that the dynamic storylines as well as the flashing lights and colors stimulated my brain even more! (even though my eyes would always droop!)  What I decided to do instead was to turn off the tube and turn the pages of a book.

Unplug

Another thing that overly stimulated my brain was conversing with friends via text or Facebook messenger as I was planning to go to bed. Texting is caffeine for my brain. As an extrovert by nature, (not all anxious people are afraid of socializing btw!) connecting with my friends, the jokes we tell, the details of their lives, fuels and energizes me, but unfortunately that also translates to no sleep. So I make it a policy to put away all electronic devices (smart phone, laptop, iPad, etc.) when I'm preparing to go to sleep. Disconnecting gives me time alone to reflect and mediate as well as the chance to recharge. (Pun completely intended.)

Sometimes, I am too wound up from something that happened during the day so I make an exception and play Candy Crush Saga on my iPad. The mindlessness and repetitiveness of matching different colored candies quiets the noise in my brain and allows me to move onto reading and the rest of my sleep routine.

Setting a Time

According to sleep experts from Harvard Medical School, establishing a set time to get ready for bed not only lengthens the amount of Zzzs you catch, but also improves the quality of your sleep! Most nights I choose to start my unwinding and unplugging process at 10:00 p.m., which usually gets me to sleep at 11, but I like to go out on weekends and I have a class that ends at 10:00 in the middle of the week and often don't get home until 11 on those nights. However, telling myself that at a certain point I can respond to my friend in the morning or I can catch up on my show the next day allows me to set some boundaries and add some structure to my routine.

Deep Breathing

As I do all of this, I am taking slow and deep breaths, which, if you are suffering from anxiety, is the first thing your therapist will tell you to do. Deeper breaths steady the flow of oxygen in your body and evens out the heart beat which allows me to feel calmer and more ready to shut down.

Something that helps me when I'm breathing is thinking of something that makes me feel happy and safe. For all you Harry Potter fans, this is like the patronus that fights against the soul sucking dementors. (Yes, there will be many Harry Potter references in this blog! I'm a huge nerd!) My patronus is my boyfriend's cat, Keaton, who likes to climb on top of my chest and cuddle, so when I'm breathing, I think about the warmth and comfort I feel in those moments. Your patronus doesn't have to be an animal. It can be a person, a smell, a memory, anything that gives you inner peace and comfort.

Results

Since starting my regimen, I've been getting 6-8 hours of sleep as oppose to the 4-6 before. I noticed both physical and emotional signs of increased calm. My breathing was more steady, stressors that seemed like mountains before now seem more like molehills. This is not to say that nothing ever bothers me now, or I never stress about a deadline or weekend plans, but now I am better able to step back, solve the problem rationally, and most importantly, not let something that I can solve take up unnecessary mental energy! 

These are all steps that have worked for me, but they are not the be all/end all of sleep! If 11 works better for you than 10, go for it! I encourage you all to explore and think critically about what makes you feel most zen and relaxed. Burn sage, meditate, whatever turns your brain off! Just make it part of your routine and this will allow you to both begin and end your days feeling relaxed and ready to take on the world.

(Disclaimer: I am not a licensed psychiatrist or psychologist, and thus I do not have the qualifications or credentials to diagnose you or recommend any medication. This blog is merely to describe my own journey with anxiety and to help with supplementary cognitive behavioral coping techniques that can improve the quality of life. If you have questions about any medications and are not yet receiving psychological treatment, ask your physician for a referral.)